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The story of eight year old Markiyan
Case study on support groups for children of active military personnel
"If our tooth hurts, we go to the dentist. Why do we do nothing when our soul hurts?"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
In early March 2022, Markiyan’s then six-year-old father hugged his son and wife and put them on an evacuation train. He, himself, joined the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine (AFU). Since then, the family has only communicated by phone, seeing each other via video link whenever possible. Markiyan and his mother currently live in Poland, while his father defends the country.
Markiyan is an active, kind, and bright boy. Over this time, he has grown up immensely and understood a great deal. However, his tantrums and aggression became more frequent. At one point, his mother noticed he began chewing on his clothes. They sought help from a psychologist, which helped initially, but other issues soon emerged.
Although Iryna, the boy’s mother, tries very hard, it is impossible to fully replace his beloved father. Furthermore, all the children around him either have their fathers present or can talk to them almost anytime, even via messenger. For Markiyan, this is extremely difficult, as his dad is on the frontline ("at zero").
As a result, the boy began to feel a sense of universal injustice and was plagued by questions: "Why is my dad serving, and others aren't? Why did that man leave and isn't defending the country from the enemy? And when will I finally see and play with Dad?". Pride and resentment, despair and hope, sadness and joy - the boy has been simultaneously experiencing all these emotions for over two years now.
"There were times when Markiyan didn't even want to talk to his dad at all," Iryna shares. "He constantly felt like only his father was fighting, and no one else. I'm worried about my husband, and I also have to calm down and explain things to my child. That's why I started looking for psychological help for families like ours. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy. We specifically needed support for children of active service members - those currently on the front. As it turned out, very few provide such services. But, he who seeks, always finds."
Thanks to the support group, Markiyan realized he wasn't alone, and that many children's mothers or fathers are defending the country. The child made friends, his behavior improved, and the feeling of universal injustice disappeared.
"He really enjoyed everything," shares his mother, Iryna. "Most importantly, we got what we came for. And personally, I was struck by the rapid response of the group's psychologists. There were moments when my child was struggling, or when we had school issues, I reached out with a question, and immediately received advice. That is like a breath of fresh air and incredibly valuable to me as a mother".
"I believe that right now, all of us - adults and children - are affected," - Iryna continues. "If there is even a small chance to make your child happier, I will absolutely take it. Children can't discuss all their problems with their parents, because they worry it will make us uncomfortable or cause us pain. It's much easier for them to talk about it with an experienced psychologist.
We, as adults, often underestimate what our children are going through. And yet, they are people who need help. A view from the outside can be very useful. I advise everyone to give their children this opportunity". "Why is it that when our tooth hurts, we go to the dentist, but when our soul hurts, we do nothing?" - asks Iryna, sharing her thoughts after her son Markiyan attended the support group.
Do you notice that your child, who has a parent serving, needs support?
If so, do not leave them alone with their pain. Our psychological support groups for children and adolescents are a safe space where they can share their feelings, find understanding, and learn to cope with their emotions. Contact us, and together we will help your child take a step toward a life full of meaning.
The story of eight year old Markiyan
Case study on support groups for children of active military personnel
"If our tooth hurts, we go to the dentist. Why do we do nothing when our soul hurts?"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
In early March 2022, Markiyan’s then six-year-old father hugged his son and wife and put them on an evacuation train. He, himself, joined the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine (AFU). Since then, the family has only communicated by phone, seeing each other via video link whenever possible. Markiyan and his mother currently live in Poland, while his father defends the country.
Markiyan is an active, kind, and bright boy. Over this time, he has grown up immensely and understood a great deal. However, his tantrums and aggression became more frequent. At one point, his mother noticed he began chewing on his clothes. They sought help from a psychologist, which helped initially, but other issues soon emerged.
Although Iryna, the boy’s mother, tries very hard, it is impossible to fully replace his beloved father. Furthermore, all the children around him either have their fathers present or can talk to them almost anytime, even via messenger. For Markiyan, this is extremely difficult, as his dad is on the frontline ("at zero").
As a result, the boy began to feel a sense of universal injustice and was plagued by questions: "Why is my dad serving, and others aren't? Why did that man leave and isn't defending the country from the enemy? And when will I finally see and play with Dad?". Pride and resentment, despair and hope, sadness and joy - the boy has been simultaneously experiencing all these emotions for over two years now.
"There were times when Markiyan didn't even want to talk to his dad at all," Iryna shares. "He constantly felt like only his father was fighting, and no one else. I'm worried about my husband, and I also have to calm down and explain things to my child. That's why I started looking for psychological help for families like ours. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy. We specifically needed support for children of active service members - those currently on the front. As it turned out, very few provide such services. But, he who seeks, always finds."
Thanks to the support group, Markiyan realized he wasn't alone, and that many children's mothers or fathers are defending the country. The child made friends, his behavior improved, and the feeling of universal injustice disappeared.
"He really enjoyed everything," shares his mother, Iryna. "Most importantly, we got what we came for. And personally, I was struck by the rapid response of the group's psychologists. There were moments when my child was struggling, or when we had school issues, I reached out with a question, and immediately received advice. That is like a breath of fresh air and incredibly valuable to me as a mother".
"I believe that right now, all of us - adults and children - are affected," - Iryna continues. "If there is even a small chance to make your child happier, I will absolutely take it. Children can't discuss all their problems with their parents, because they worry it will make us uncomfortable or cause us pain. It's much easier for them to talk about it with an experienced psychologist.
We, as adults, often underestimate what our children are going through. And yet, they are people who need help. A view from the outside can be very useful. I advise everyone to give their children this opportunity". "Why is it that when our tooth hurts, we go to the dentist, but when our soul hurts, we do nothing?" - asks Iryna, sharing her thoughts after her son Markiyan attended the support group.
Do you notice that your child, who has a parent serving, needs support?
If so, do not leave them alone with their pain. Our psychological support groups for children and adolescents are a safe space where they can share their feelings, find understanding, and learn to cope with their emotions. Contact us, and together we will help your child take a step toward a life full of meaning.