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Daryna's story
Case study on support group for children of Fallen Warriors
"Daryna came back to life, and so did I"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
In the spring of 2022, Daryna's father was killed at the front. The girl withdrew into herself, almost stopped sharing her feelings, and pulled away from her family. Her relatives tried many things to help her, but nothing seemed to work. That's when they began looking for psychological help for military children who had lost a parent in the war.
A psychologist first told the family about a support group for children of fallen soldiers. She herself was not able to work with children of that age and recommended the project instead. Daryna decided to join on her own - according to her grandmother, Oksana, she already felt she needed help from someone outside the family. Oksana herself believed in the outcome even more: after every session she noticed small but genuine changes in her granddaughter.
First steps in the support group
Joining the group wasn't an instant fix. At first, Daryna mostly listened to the other participants and stayed guarded, though she admitted she found it interesting. According to Oksana, after about two months of sessions, the girl was able to stop taking the medication she had been on for more than four months.
“At first she just listened. Then, without any reminders, she started looking forward to the sessions and taking part in the conversations,” her grandmother says.
One day Oksana learned that her granddaughter had spoken up on her own during a session for the first time - and, in her words, it was already a different girl.
Drawings that said more than words
Daryna began sharing with her grandmother the drawings she made during sessions, and at home she started drawing even more. Gradually, the dark tones in her artwork gave way to color.
One particularly meaningful session focused on talking about fathers - a topic Daryna had previously avoided because it was too painful to touch. That day, she shared warm, happy memories of her father with her grandmother for the first time - the stories they used to share and how she was like him.
“For the first time in years, Daryna talked about her dad with laughter. Now we can look at his photos together calmly, and she even comforts me when she sees I'm about to cry,” Oksana says.
One of the drawings the family shared is a portrait of a girl with bright red hair. According to her grandmother, this is a self-portrait Daryna made after she started attending the sessions: the face is still serious, but no longer gloomy - and soon after, the girl actually dyed her hair that same color. In another photo, there's a smile that hadn't been seen on the child's face in years.
What changed at home after the child's psychological support
According to Oksana, the most noticeable change is in their relationship. Daryna used to only offer her forehead for a kiss; now she's the first to come in for a hug.
“The project gave me the feeling that my granddaughter can hear me again. I'd do anything for my granddaughters - she came back to life, and so did I,” the woman shares.
She adds that what mattered most for the family was realizing that someone from outside can also help a child - not only the people closest to her, who are living through the very same loss.
“My daughter-in-law and I are still learning how to live without my son, so we couldn't always teach Daryna how to do that either. But your project managed to do it, and I'm endlessly grateful,” Oksana says. She notes that she lives separately from her daughter-in-law, but nearby, and even without hearing the sessions themselves, she clearly saw and felt their results.
In her grandmother's view, what mattered most for Daryna was simply having the chance to talk about what hurt, and knowing she would be heard and supported.
Words of support for families of fallen defenders
Among her wishes for the project, Oksana mentioned sessions for mothers as well - since, in her observation, women who are grieving the loss of their husbands often either shut themselves off or refuse any kind of help, trying to “be strong for two”. She also suggested talking more about the anonymity of participation: some mothers worry that others will see their children differently, even though these children's experience is genuinely different from that of peers whose fathers are still around.
For families who have gone through a similar loss and are hesitant about whether to seek psychological support for military children, Oksana advises not to put it off: children need to talk with people who are not themselves immersed in the same loss, but who know how to help them through it.
Daryna's story
Case study on support group for children of Fallen Warriors
"Daryna came back to life, and so did I"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
In the spring of 2022, Daryna's father was killed at the front. The girl withdrew into herself, almost stopped sharing her feelings, and pulled away from her family. Her relatives tried many things to help her, but nothing seemed to work. That's when they began looking for psychological help for military children who had lost a parent in the war.
A psychologist first told the family about a support group for children of fallen soldiers. She herself was not able to work with children of that age and recommended the project instead. Daryna decided to join on her own - according to her grandmother, Oksana, she already felt she needed help from someone outside the family. Oksana herself believed in the outcome even more: after every session she noticed small but genuine changes in her granddaughter.
First steps in the support group
Joining the group wasn't an instant fix. At first, Daryna mostly listened to the other participants and stayed guarded, though she admitted she found it interesting. According to Oksana, after about two months of sessions, the girl was able to stop taking the medication she had been on for more than four months.
“At first she just listened. Then, without any reminders, she started looking forward to the sessions and taking part in the conversations,” her grandmother says.
One day Oksana learned that her granddaughter had spoken up on her own during a session for the first time - and, in her words, it was already a different girl.
Drawings that said more than words
Daryna began sharing with her grandmother the drawings she made during sessions, and at home she started drawing even more. Gradually, the dark tones in her artwork gave way to color.
One particularly meaningful session focused on talking about fathers - a topic Daryna had previously avoided because it was too painful to touch. That day, she shared warm, happy memories of her father with her grandmother for the first time - the stories they used to share and how she was like him.
“For the first time in years, Daryna talked about her dad with laughter. Now we can look at his photos together calmly, and she even comforts me when she sees I'm about to cry,” Oksana says.
One of the drawings the family shared is a portrait of a girl with bright red hair. According to her grandmother, this is a self-portrait Daryna made after she started attending the sessions: the face is still serious, but no longer gloomy - and soon after, the girl actually dyed her hair that same color. In another photo, there's a smile that hadn't been seen on the child's face in years.
What changed at home after the child's psychological support
According to Oksana, the most noticeable change is in their relationship. Daryna used to only offer her forehead for a kiss; now she's the first to come in for a hug.
“The project gave me the feeling that my granddaughter can hear me again. I'd do anything for my granddaughters - she came back to life, and so did I,” the woman shares.
She adds that what mattered most for the family was realizing that someone from outside can also help a child - not only the people closest to her, who are living through the very same loss.
“My daughter-in-law and I are still learning how to live without my son, so we couldn't always teach Daryna how to do that either. But your project managed to do it, and I'm endlessly grateful,” Oksana says. She notes that she lives separately from her daughter-in-law, but nearby, and even without hearing the sessions themselves, she clearly saw and felt their results.
In her grandmother's view, what mattered most for Daryna was simply having the chance to talk about what hurt, and knowing she would be heard and supported.
Words of support for families of fallen defenders
Among her wishes for the project, Oksana mentioned sessions for mothers as well - since, in her observation, women who are grieving the loss of their husbands often either shut themselves off or refuse any kind of help, trying to “be strong for two”. She also suggested talking more about the anonymity of participation: some mothers worry that others will see their children differently, even though these children's experience is genuinely different from that of peers whose fathers are still around.
For families who have gone through a similar loss and are hesitant about whether to seek psychological support for military children, Oksana advises not to put it off: children need to talk with people who are not themselves immersed in the same loss, but who know how to help them through it.