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The story of eight year old Anna
Case study from the practice of support groups for children of missing soldiers
"I see that my child has started living"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
When 8-year-old Anna's father, a lawyer and patriot, went missing in action near Bakhmut, the family's life split into "before" and "after". For the girl, who looked remarkably like her father, this uncertainty became the start of a profound personal crisis. Her mother, Mrs. Natalia, recalls that time as the hardest, admitting that she initially tried to shield her daughter by saying that her dad simply "had no connection." But the child, sensing her mother's anxiety, began to break down internally.
The world cracked: grief and protest
The first year was absolute hell for Anna. The excellent student and lively girl completely sank into grief. Her grades plummeted, friends drifted away, and interest disappeared. Her world was limited to pain and protest.
"The situation was critical for us. She was an A-student, but her studies completely fell apart; she wasn't interested in anything at all. It got to the point where she had aggressive outbursts: she'd see a child with a dad in the street, run home, lock herself in her room, and start crying and yelling: 'Why does that dad get to walk with that girl? Why can't my dad?'" recalls Mrs. Natalia. "She cries at every turn, she's wandering somewhere; I ask her questions, and she doesn't even hear me. She is in her own world".
The body's cry: physical consequences of hidden pain
The child's psyche couldn't endure such tension for long. The intense, invisible stress that the girl couldn't express manifested as genuine illness. Over time, Anna began to suffer physically: doctors diagnosed autoimmune thyroiditis, cardiomyopathy, and heart arrhythmia.
"We consulted doctors... They said that the cause of this is the result of stress. I couldn't help my child because I myself was in such a stressful state. I realized I was powerless," says her mother. She tried to support her daughter by showing documents about the search for her father, but knew it wasn't enough. "I can't explain to my child why this is happening. For that, you need specialists - qualified psychologists".
Healing through community: the power of the group
Mrs. Natalia found salvation online, coming across information about psychological support groups for children whose parents are missing in action. Anna agreed to the sessions immediately, exhausted by her own emotions.
"She agreed right away. I realize that she herself wanted to be helped, because she didn't know what was happening to her. She used to say, "Mom, I can't calm down".
The group format became the key to recovery. Anna, who previously couldn't open up to an individual psychologist, found her mirror here.
"She understood why she liked being in the group: she saw that she wasn't the only one. She has no support in her class... But here she found friends who truly supported her, who were just like her, and that helped her. When she's in a group of children, she looks at others, and she tells her own story. She then opens up more, processes the pain, and all the emotions come out".
Pliamko the dog: a talisman of hope
At the end of the course, Anna received a gift that became a special symbol of her healing - a soft toy dog named Pliamko. Psychologists used the story of a lost dog to discuss themes of loss, sadness, and expectation with the children. When the children received the toy with the inscription, "He finally found a home," - it moved the mother to tears.
"When the dog arrived, and it said, 'He finally found a home and will live with you, "I cried... I believe that such a story gives children great hope that everyone who is lost will eventually be found and returned, including her father. She still sleeps with this dog; it's like a talisman for her".
The return of the thirst for life
The results of the group work were colossal and showed in all areas of her life. Anna stopped shutting down, and her hysterics disappeared. She learned to recall her dad calmly, instead of trembling with pain. Even her physical condition began to recede: her analyses improved, the size of her thyroid gland decreased, and her arrhythmia stabilized.
"I can see it in her - she used to be so pale, with black circles under her eyes because she was constantly crying. And now she's fresh and rosy! She's found new hobbies: drawing, clay sculpting, assembling mosaics. She even asked: 'Mom, get me a math tutor; I want to study". The thirst for life returned; she used to want nothing, and now she wants everything! She has returned to life."
Mrs. Natalia, seeing these changes, became a staunch advocate for psychological help: "I believe that seeking help is critically important. Children can suffer in silence, and parents may not see it. But here, in the group, she looks at others, she opens up, she processes her pain, and then it's easier to help. It helps one hundred percent".
The story of eight year old Anna
Case study from the practice of support groups for children of missing soldiers
"I see that my child has started living"*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality
When 8-year-old Anna's father, a lawyer and patriot, went missing in action near Bakhmut, the family's life split into "before" and "after". For the girl, who looked remarkably like her father, this uncertainty became the start of a profound personal crisis. Her mother, Mrs. Natalia, recalls that time as the hardest, admitting that she initially tried to shield her daughter by saying that her dad simply "had no connection." But the child, sensing her mother's anxiety, began to break down internally.
The world cracked: grief and protest
The first year was absolute hell for Anna. The excellent student and lively girl completely sank into grief. Her grades plummeted, friends drifted away, and interest disappeared. Her world was limited to pain and protest.
"The situation was critical for us. She was an A-student, but her studies completely fell apart; she wasn't interested in anything at all. It got to the point where she had aggressive outbursts: she'd see a child with a dad in the street, run home, lock herself in her room, and start crying and yelling: 'Why does that dad get to walk with that girl? Why can't my dad?'" recalls Mrs. Natalia. "She cries at every turn, she's wandering somewhere; I ask her questions, and she doesn't even hear me. She is in her own world".
The body's cry: physical consequences of hidden pain
The child's psyche couldn't endure such tension for long. The intense, invisible stress that the girl couldn't express manifested as genuine illness. Over time, Anna began to suffer physically: doctors diagnosed autoimmune thyroiditis, cardiomyopathy, and heart arrhythmia.
"We consulted doctors... They said that the cause of this is the result of stress. I couldn't help my child because I myself was in such a stressful state. I realized I was powerless," says her mother. She tried to support her daughter by showing documents about the search for her father, but knew it wasn't enough. "I can't explain to my child why this is happening. For that, you need specialists - qualified psychologists".
Healing through community: the power of the group
Mrs. Natalia found salvation online, coming across information about psychological support groups for children whose parents are missing in action. Anna agreed to the sessions immediately, exhausted by her own emotions.
"She agreed right away. I realize that she herself wanted to be helped, because she didn't know what was happening to her. She used to say, "Mom, I can't calm down".
The group format became the key to recovery. Anna, who previously couldn't open up to an individual psychologist, found her mirror here.
"She understood why she liked being in the group: she saw that she wasn't the only one. She has no support in her class... But here she found friends who truly supported her, who were just like her, and that helped her. When she's in a group of children, she looks at others, and she tells her own story. She then opens up more, processes the pain, and all the emotions come out".
Pliamko the dog: a talisman of hope
At the end of the course, Anna received a gift that became a special symbol of her healing - a soft toy dog named Pliamko. Psychologists used the story of a lost dog to discuss themes of loss, sadness, and expectation with the children. When the children received the toy with the inscription, "He finally found a home," - it moved the mother to tears.
"When the dog arrived, and it said, 'He finally found a home and will live with you, "I cried... I believe that such a story gives children great hope that everyone who is lost will eventually be found and returned, including her father. She still sleeps with this dog; it's like a talisman for her".
The return of the thirst for life
The results of the group work were colossal and showed in all areas of her life. Anna stopped shutting down, and her hysterics disappeared. She learned to recall her dad calmly, instead of trembling with pain. Even her physical condition began to recede: her analyses improved, the size of her thyroid gland decreased, and her arrhythmia stabilized.
"I can see it in her - she used to be so pale, with black circles under her eyes because she was constantly crying. And now she's fresh and rosy! She's found new hobbies: drawing, clay sculpting, assembling mosaics. She even asked: 'Mom, get me a math tutor; I want to study". The thirst for life returned; she used to want nothing, and now she wants everything! She has returned to life."
Mrs. Natalia, seeing these changes, became a staunch advocate for psychological help: "I believe that seeking help is critically important. Children can suffer in silence, and parents may not see it. But here, in the group, she looks at others, she opens up, she processes her pain, and then it's easier to help. It helps one hundred percent".